Franz Metcalf and BJ Gallagher, Mindful Work
Anyone else out there know EXACTLY what this feels like?
Integrity as a rock, as a backbone, as a refuge. This seems like everything, doesn’t it?
Spend it with care.
Everyone is someone’s VIP.
Tumblr feels like the weekend to me, even on the weekend.
The fewer words, the better.
Raj asked Buddha, “Reverend Sir, how come my mind wanders around to forbidden places and yours does not?” “Sir, how come I do back-biting and you don’t?” “Sir, how come I don’t have compassion for others, while you have?” All the questions that Raj asked were of similar nature.
Buddha replied,…
Adyashanti, “The Taboo of Enlightenment”
Phew.
Larry Rosenberg, “The Art of Doing Nothing”
I’ve heard the same concern expressed about therapy, like all sorts of scary, terrible reality will be exposed and then you’ll have to deal with things and face fears and have vulnerable conversations and it’s so much more desirable to just pretend like it isn’t there.
Except that it’s reality that sets us free. Being honest about what’s real makes fear irrelevant. There is simply what is, and what is not. Living from that kind of simplicity actually means a lot less work, a lot less pain and better sleep at night.
It finally happened. I had the dream I’ve been expecting for the last six months.
It was the big day, and everything, literally everything, went wrong. The entire event was behind schedule, I was completely unprepared and unsupported, I hardly knew the people around me, and the people I’d selected and to whom I’d delegated responsibility were nowhere to be found. My hair was a mess, but it didn’t really matter because the photographer didn’t show. Neither did most of my guests. I barely saw my beloved. I even broke a piece of furniture, simply by touching it.
The day was a failure. But I was still standing at the end, having shed no tears (a few choice words did escape my lips, but they were actually surprisingly level-headed). I had survived, and was able to simple shake my head at the whole mess.
As dreams go, this one was vividly detailed and emotionally draining. Even now, as I lie and reflect on it, I feel a mingled sense of disgust and disappointment in the pit of my belly. But it wasn’t real.
In fact, I think it might have been a gift. My subconscious saying, “Here’s the absolute worst case scenario for how this might go. There’s pretty much no way it could, but even if it did, you’d be fine. This is exactly what you practice for.”
So this may actually be a beneficial point of reference. I hope I don’t have any best case scenario dreams. But that would be highly out of character for my particular subconscious.
I’m suddenly, urgently aware of all the little things I have to do for this big thing that’s happening in a few weeks. The tiny details are seeping through the well-laid plans and creating anxiety in my mind:
You won’t have time to get everything done!
You might forget something if you don’t do it right now!
You have to stay on schedule!
So I’ve decided to play with this anxiety and to put off these details for one whole week. I might think about them, consider approaches and solutions, and set deadlines for them, but one thing I won’t do is take action on them. I won’t make any phone calls, send any emails, engage any vendors or partners, or write any checks. I won’t make any decisions.
That may sound like a pleasant little procrastination vacation to you, but my heart was pounding as I wrote it. I am very uncomfortable with not doing. Doing is what I do.
So I want to see what happens in my overachieving brain when I stop the doing and let things be. It will be uncomfortable. I will start doing mindlessly and have to remind myself to stop. I may try to trick others into doing for me and will then have to ask them not to.
But I think, in the end, I will learn something. Maybe I’ll learn that my urgent doing gets in the way of letting the best options arise. Maybe I’ll see that it stifles my creativity and creates stress for me and those around me. Maybe I’ll just learn to chill out and appreciate the things I’ve already done.
Here goes nothing.
