If we let ourselves feel more and more, paradoxically, we get less controlling and less reactive. As long as we think we shouldn’t feel something, as long as we are afraid of feeling vulnerable, our defenses will kick in to try to get life under control, to manipulate ourselves or other people. But instead of either controlling or sequestering our feelings, we can learn to both contain and feel them fully. That containment allows us to feel vulnerable or hurt without immediately erupting into anger; it allows us to feel neediness without clinging to the other person. We acknowledge our dependency.

Barry Magin, “No Gain”

(via tricycle-tumbles)

It sounds scary, and it is. But then you do it and you’ve done it. Tt worked and you are a little more free. Then you do it again and again and find more and more peace each time. 

(via tricycle-tumbles)

Notes

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